Of Diaries and Reputations
by my9thamor
Summary: "I keep all my emotions to myself, if you don't mind, so don't think that I'll cry to you my problems and feelings."- At least he tried. Rated T for language.


**Of Diaries and Reputations**

**Summary: "I keep all my emotions to myself if you don't mind so don't think that I'll be crying to you my problems and feelings." - At least he tried. **

**XOneshotX**

* * *

December 24, Sunday 11:00pm

I don't know how to start this crap since I never had a journal before. Wait, did I say journal? Yes, I said journal - not diary or whatever stupid, girly name you are thinking of. Anyway, I could have apologized to you about my behavior but since you're just a journal, I'll put my frustration on you whenever I want to.

Well, enough with the shit. I'll be introducing myself first before I say other harsh words to you.

I am Natsume Hyuuga. My age is nineteen and I study in Alice Academy. I guess those are the only things you have to know about me for I am lazy to put my personal information here. If you CAN, you can go through my biological data or ask my annoying fan girls about me. At least you can find a purpose from them.

Okay. Let's change the topic or else I'll go nuts because of my fan girls.

I would like to tell you where you came from and how I got "forced" to write to you.

I never had the intention to buy you or steal you or whatever because I'm a guy who would never, EVER write on a journal.

I keep all my emotions to myself if you don't mind so don't think that I'll be crying to you my problems and feelings.

Keep in mind that I'll write to you because I'm OBLIGED to.

Anyway, you were a Christmas gift I just received earlier. Do you know who gave you to me? Well, it's (I'm not sure of her gender because she has a flat chest.) Mikan Sakura. She/it has been my classmate/schoolmate here in Alice Academy since we were ten and she has been one of the most annoying and blabbering people I have met. She's a stupid moron (too redundant but it's what best describes her.) who feeds from people's aching heads and pissed off faces. And the worst part is that no matter how hard you hide and run away from her, she would always find you and show off to you WHATEVER FUCKING CRAP SHE HAS WHICH IS SOMETHING YOU WON'T BENEFIT FROM AT ALL!

Wow. That felt good.

What happened during the Christmas party was like this:

I'm not a party person so I often stay away from invitations which involve special occasions like New Year, Valentine's Day (especially that) and other events that may seem important to OTHER PEOPLE. So what I did during the day before Christmas was to get one chapter from my collections of manga, went outside to rest under the Sakura tree, and read.

I was almost lost from serenity when something dropped on my head.

I was so annoyed that I glared up to where the 'thing' came from and thought it came from you-know-who. FORTUNATELY, it was just a twig. I sighed. If it was an acorn and if I had the brain of that annoying little girl, I might have been running around the campus shouting, "The sky is falling!" and will be humiliated by the whole school.

I went back to my business when I was interrupted again by a shadow in front of me. This time I'm SURE it was HER.

"What do you want, you retard?" I said without even looking at her.

"Retard? Are you expecting someone else?" said the person.

I'm sure I heard a guy's voice so I looked up and saw my best friend, Ruka Nogi.

"Ruka, what's up?" He sat down next to me. It wasn't like him to appear out of nowhere. Oh, well.

"I believe you were expecting Mikan, not me, right?" He gave me the knowing look. He actually thinks I'm in love with Mikan. I wonder what hit him.

"Why the fuck would I expect someone like her? It's a good thing it's you who showed up or else I could've died of hypertension now." I said. He laughed.

What's so funny? Ugh. People these days…

"Jeez. You're over reacting again. Have it your way, Natsume."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Did you come here just to piss me off? Don't tell me that you got Mikan's disease?" I faced him with an annoyed look.

"Mikan this, Mikan that. Can't you think of any other thing rather than Mikan? You know if you like someone and you don't want her to know, you should keep your mouth shut." He said smugly.

Good thing that it was Ruka who said that because if he was another person, he could've died immediately.

I was about to revolt when he said, "Anyway, I came here for a purpose. Unlike A PERSON YOU KNOW."

I twitched and he continued.

"I know you're not the type of guy who would join parties but anyway, we're all obliged to go to our Batch Christmas Party tonight." He said.

I stared at Ruka and pondered.

"Uh…If you're trying to find out whose plan was it, it was Hotaru's. She-"

"Let me guess. She blackmailed you to go to the party even though you don't want to." I continued for him. Tsk. Typical of Imai…

"You're half correct. She has actually blackmailed all of the people who said that they were busy and all. You're no exception." He frowned.

"Damn. Imai could be a bitch sometimes." I wasn't looking at Ruka but I think I saw him glare at me. I think Ruka has fallen in love with the psycho.

It was silent. I think the word 'bitch' has greatly offended him but I didn't bother to look at him. Instead, I just changed the topic.

"So that means that we'll be forced to go there?" I asked and looked at him this time. He seemed to be in some sort of trance. I snapped my finger in front of his face. I can't believe what I said gave him that much impact.

"H-huh? Oh, yeah. We're going." It's good that he's in reality now.

"I see. I was wondering why Imai would waste HER PRECIOUS MONEY for her birthday party." I said.

"I dunno. I asked her that but she asked me to pay 500 rabbits for it. I was broke at that time so I just let it be." Ruka replied.

"What if I don't want to attend?" I asked.

"You know Hotaru, Natsume. She'll do the most horrible ways to ruin your name if you don't attend."

"Ugh…" I grunted. Stupid Imai…

"Anyway, I got to go, Natsume. I have some other things to do. Be there at 7pm at the Party Hall."

"Hn."

Then he stood up and left.

And that ended my conversation with Ruka.

That evening, I wore what a person attending a party would and brought with me a huge amount of money. I have a feeling that Hotaru's party will have something in return.

I went in front of the huge door and saw a poster.

_Welcome to my Birthday party/Christmas party. Before you enter, you are to abide by these rules:_

_Only my batch mates are allowed to enter._

_-You are obliged to give me a gift that I will SURELY like. Non-batch mates are also welcome to give a gift but will not be allowed to enter the party._

_-If you don't have a gift, you are going to give me 10,000 rabbits. (As mentioned above, non- batch mates can also give 10, 000 rabbits but will not be allowed to enter.)_

_-If you don't have both, get ready for a heavy punishment. Nevertheless, you can still enter the party if you're my batch mate._

_-If you're my batch mate and won't bother to attend, I'll have you resting in peace tomorrow morning._

_The Birthday Girl,_

_Hotaru Imai_

To me, it was more of a threat rather than an invitation. It wasn't surprising that Imai would ask for something in return. Unfortunately, I have no gift to give her so I just took 10,000 rabbits from my wallet and entered the hall. Of course, I was on the guest list.

I wasn't shocked to see the whole batch inside the party hall. I knew that they will be afraid of Imai's blackmails.

But I was shocked when I saw that the party hall has been turned into the North Pole. There was obviously snow all over but it wasn't cold. There were small and red round tables with matching pillow-like chairs. The waiters and other staff wore elf costumes and served Christmas food. And at the center of the hall was Imai…wearing a Santa Claus outfit. A line of people was in front of her, giving her gifts. I couldn't help but smirk at how Imai (who was supposed to be the one giving gifts) was the one corrupting things from people. I just left that thought. Anyway, beside her was a huge pile of gifts and money...

And I flinched when I noticed that also beside her was Mikan the red-nosed reindeer. Her appearance was what shocked me the most.

She was indeed looking like a reindeer but I can't help but swallow hard when it was a sexy, reindeer costume she was wearing. Her body was wrapped fittingly by the costume and I could see her curves clearly. Not to mention, her perfect, round…

Why am I saying these things? Ugh…I think I got overdosed by drugs early this morning.

I didn't bother to fall in line and just gave my money to Imai. Just when I was about to leave, Imai grabbed my wrist.

"Just where do you think you're going?" she said.

I looked at her, and then at Polka who didn't seem to notice my presence for she was busy counting the presents that were given to Imai.

"Obviously taking a seat…" I replied emotionlessly.

"You're supposed to say something-something that starts with an "H" and ends with a "Y". I'll give you clues. There are two words, four syllables and—"

"Alright, alright… I'm not a moron like that person beside you."

Just then, Mikan turned her annoyed head to face me.

It was so easy to get her attention.

"Moron?"

"Anyway, where was I, Imai? Oh yeah. Happy birthday…" I said monotonously and went for a chair, completely ignoring Polka.

"Thank you, Natsume. That's sooo sweet of you." Note the sarcasm in Imai's voice.

"Hn."

"Natsume!"

"OI! DID YOU HEAR ME, JERK?" I heard behind me. I continued walking. I saw Ruka waving at me.

"Hey! Look at me when I'm talking to you!" she said.

I lazily turned around to face her and saw her figure lounging for me. It was too fast before I could react.

BAM!

She was on top of me. Her legs spread in between my legs, her (ahem)_ chest_ on my chest and her _lips covering mine._

What the fuck?

I wanted to push her away but my body won't move. I heard people around me gasp. Why am I not moving? What's wrong with me?

Mikan got off me and I can see from her face that she has a face redder than the red clothing of Santa Claus.

"S-Sorry." Was all she muttered and ran away from the crowd.

While I just lay there, flabbergasted and speechless.

I was out-of-this-world that time and found out that I was already seated on one of the 'pillow' chairs when I came back to my senses.

I faintly felt Ruka slapping my face and saw people gathered around me with different expressions on their faces. The one expression which caught my attention the most was the sly smile that girl dressed in red had.

She had the smile of a person trying to ruin someone else's life – my life to be precise.

And I wasn't even looking at her hand to know that it was her beloved camera.

…

That bitch took my picture.

I managed to get a hold of myself and glare at her.

"Damn you, Imai."

There were two possible pictures that she had that would ruin my reputation: The first is the picture where I spaced out and second is the one where Mikan landed on my lips.

I'm more worried about the second one.

"These pictures will spread all throughout the academy like fire starting tomorrow." Imai said.

Then I heard people murmuring something like "Can I see it?", "What is it?", "I want one!"

"I swear to God that—" I started.

"I'll have to remind you that my printed pictures are fire proof." She rolled her eyes.

…

Oh, yes. I forgot to tell you that this girl has the Alice of invention and she intentionally made her camera (and the pictures it produces) fire proof for my annoyance. She probably designed it other "proofs" so that people wouldn't get the chance of destroying her "most precious item."

How I despise this girl.

Too bad Ruka is madly in love with this psychopath.

She could've died before she knew she was born.

…

Back to the story:

Before I could retort to what that evil girl had said, I noticed Mikan getting something from Hotaru's gift bag.

She seemed so engrossed with it judging from the tensed look on her face.

"AH! I FOUND IT!" she suddenly shouted—getting all the attention of the people who were gathered around me. It took me a second to realize that she was already on her knees in front of Hotaru, begging with the wrapped gift in hand.

"Please don't spread those pictures! I beg of you, Hotaru! I'll do your homework for a week!" she pleaded.

"Ugh. There's no way I'll let you do my homework. I might fail if I let you do that." Imai replied.

I smirked at her reply. Polkadots gave a stupid offer.

"WAAAHH! HOTARU! I'll do anything! Just don't spread those pictures! HUHUHUHU!" Mikan persisted.

"Anything, huh? Fine. I'll think of that 'anything' later." She lazily replied and I think I heard the tone of "delete" in her camera.

"Really?Aww! Thank you, Hotaru! I love you so much! MUAH!" Polka said and embraced her best friend. Surprisingly, Imai let Polka hug her.

Hotaru sure has a soft spot for her best friend.

…

The party went off smoothly and the "Mikan-suddenly-kissing-me" incident passed by like a gust of wind.

A lot of questions filled my mind after that kiss.

I have to tell you the truth.

Mikan does have soft and warm lips, even though she landed most of her body weight on me. She's damn too heavy for her size.

This is just between the two of us okay?

I kinda liked kissing her.

...

Okay, okay!

I actually liked it a lot and I'm really looking forward to kissing her again.

Ugh.

Stupid Polka and her weird ways of attracting me to her.

...

I was at the balcony of the party hall, drinking red wine when I felt someone behind me.

I turned around to look and saw Mikan. Immediate shock is seen through my features.

And the same expression was plastered on her face.

It took about a minute of awkward silence before she finally spoke up.

"N-Natsume, I'm sorry." she said. She was looking on the ground so I can't quite see her expression.

What the hell got into this girl? Saying sorry for kissing me? In fact, she should be thankful because my lips are something that a fangirl would die to devour.

"What?" Was all I could say.

"Uhm, I'm sorry for jumping on you and accidentally kissing you. Also, I'm sorry for embarrassing you." she said specifically.

Then, she stared at me with regret in her eyes. I saw tears forming at the corners.

I noticed that she still had that wrapped thing on her hands that she took from Hotaru's bag a while ago.

I couldn't feel anything but remorse. I wanted to tell her I'm sorry, too.

(I repeat. This is between YOU AND ME only.)

"Tch. I almost got my bones broken because of you." Were the words that came from my mouth.

What? I'm a guy with a huge ego.

"I said I'm sorry, okay?" she repeated.

I just stared at her. I felt my chest grow heavy.

"Hn."

"I know it feels bad to have your reputation ruined so I decided to give you this."

She handed me the thing she was holding a while ago. It was wrapped in red and green stripped paper.

I looked at it, then at her. She was smiling already.

"It was supposed to be Hotaru's but her gift can wait. I think giving it to you is more urgent. He, he." she giggled while scratching her head.

She handed it to me so that I could open it.

Guess what was inside.

You.

"A diary?" I said flatly.

"Well, a diary is better for you than for Hotaru because you're a very silent guy. I know you keep a lot of things to yourself and you want to let them all out so I decided that it's good that you have one to tell your problems and feelings to. Hotaru probably has a lot of diaries for her inventions so I'll let this one pass." she looked at me and gave me a sheepish grin.

I could do nothing but just stare at it.

"Do you like it?" she asked.

I looked up the ceiling. The balcony had a roof, mind you.

Perfect.

Maybe I was wrong about Polka. Her annoyance could be nice sometimes.

"Natsume? You don't like it?" Polka started to worry about my silence.

"Mistletoe." I said.

"Huh? What are-"

I never gave her the chance to speak when I grabbed her and kissed her hungrily on the lips.

...

I'm a nineteen year old with hormones. I'd have to get what I want.

...

It was a funny thing that Polka kissed me back and it's also a good thing that everyone else was too busy to eat inside the Party Hall.

So my make out session with Polka has a high chance of being undisturbed.

I pushed her to the end of the balcony as she wrapped her legs around me.

I, then, kissed her jawline down to her neck and was enjoying every single moment of it when I heard a "click".

We both looked at the direction where the sound came from and saw Imai with that camera again.

Shit.

"I just placed a mistletoe as a design for this balcony and you two end up making out under it. That's the best gift anyone has ever given to me. Merry Christmas and a Happy Birthday to me." she said blankly and continued to take pictures of the two of us.

Mikan shoved me right away and went crying to Imai.

This girl is really crazy. I thought she liked making out with me?

"HOTARU! I was just giving Natsume my gift of apology when he suddenly kissed me! PERVERT! Now I'll never get married! Ever! WAHAHA!"

"It's his sign of gratitude for that lovely gift, Mikan. Now, tell me why I shouldn't go spreading this again?" Imai said with an evil glint in her tone.

She looked at me.

I shivered.

It's like the Devil's Wife looked at me.

"Because it's just so wrong! Hotaru, please give me another chance!" Polka pleaded.

"No. This is your gift for me since you gave what's "supposed to be my gift" to Natsume." Imai reasoned out and pointed what I was now holding.

I was already thinking of how to get back my reputation while simply standing there watching the two reason themselves out.

"Hotaru, please, please, please!" Polka persisted.

Then, Imai suddenly looked at me.

"Okay." she said without taking her eyes of me. I shivered once more.

"Hyuuga, will you write on that diary?"

Huh? Write on this diary?

"Hell no."

"Okay. Because Natsume won't write on the diary that was supposedly mine," Imai turned to look at Polka.

"I'll spread the pictures."

.hell?

She's gonna spread those pictures just for that?

"What? Hotaru, you can't be serious!" Polka cried, shaking her best friend.

"If Hyuuga would write on that diary, I might consider." Imai replied and left.

"Hotaru!" Polka started running after her when I grabbed her hand to stop her.

"Natsume! Let go of me!" she struggled but I was way stronger.

"Shut up." and she did.

Hah. Pushover.

"Imai, I'll do it. For my reputation's sake." I said. I was actually doing it for Polka's sake. She looked so pitiful.

Imai looked back and nodded before she turned away and left.

"I'll know whether you're writing there or not." she added.

That was weird and creepy but I had a theory. My theory is that Imai wants Polka's journal so badly that she's jealous because Polka gave it to me instead of giving it to her. But I really don't get the part why I'd have to write there. I think Imai wants to tell me that I shouldn't go around wasting her best friend's gifts.

Maybe that's her way of showing Polka how grateful she is.

I doubt that Polka would even notice it.

Oh well.

...

There was another awkward silence between the two of us. Reason why? We just made out and got caught. Imai has our dignity in her hands.

"Uhm, Natsume?" I could feel her looking at me. I was looking at the view.

"Hn."

"Thanks."

Thanks?

I looked at her with a puzzled look. She smiled at me.

"Thanks for not ruining my image, even though it was you who tried to destroy it. Pervert." I noticed a tint of red on her cheeks before she stuck her tongue out to me.

"Tch. Don't flatter yourself, Polka. I did it for my reputation's sake." I replied coolly.

"Is using my gift at your own will also for your reputation's sake? Ha, ha. You and your pride. I'm leaving." Polka laughed and left.

I just stood there staring at her retreating figure.

She's right.

Why did I even do that?

Ugh.

First, I kissed her madly, then, I stood up for her dignity.

I'm supposed to hate her!

But why do I feel like this?

When I kissed her, it was like fireworks. I never felt that before from the other women I've kissed. And why do I feel so weird inside?

Shit.

Sue me, journal. I might be in love with this girl.

Yeah, I think I am.

I'm in love with Mikan Sakura.

But remember.

This is just between you and me.

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...

December 25 Monday 12am

Dear Diary,

I just had the best Christmas/Birthday gift in my entire life!

Did that Hyuuga think that he'd get away with MY GIFT from Mikan?

Hah. Nobody steals my gift! Especially those from my dear best friend.

I just got the best footage ever.

Wait till the whole school sees what's in Natsume Hyuuga's Journal.

I'm gonna be rich, rich, RICH!

BUAHAHAHAH!

I so love my camera.

* * *

**XDXDXD **

**R & R, people!**

**My9thAmor. 3**


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